Anyway, if you can't wait until January 28, 2014 to roll around so you can get your gluttonous fill of 56 years of out-of-sync lip-syncing, then you've come to the right place. Below you'll find the most up-to-date news for ill-placed predictions.
But First - Did You Know? Grammy Award Trivia
- The Grammys where actually called "The Grannys", eponymous for Granny Clampett, after having the mega-hit Snake Handling and Blueberries in 1952.
- The "What the Hell is a Phonograph?" campaign, championed by Dr. Dre, has caused the Grammy Award effigy to be replaced by a Fisher-Price Classical Record Player.
- Helen Reddy and Anne Murray were the first Australian and Canadian female recording artist to participate in mixed martial mud-wrestle for a Grammy back in 1973? Of course, Ms. Reddy came out on top.
Grammy Award Predictions
ClassicalW.A. Mozart is expected to win this category hands down, but will, unfortunately, have to accept the award posthumously from an unknown location via satellite. Should be disturbing...yet strangely seductive.
RockQueen's of the Stone Age are expected to loose this prestigious award to, ironically, Dwyane "The Rock" Johnson. During a recent interview, "The Rock" stated, "If Queen's of the Stone Age end up winning, I'll be clothes-lining those little bitches on stage in front of their crying mamas!"
CountryKaty Perry will undoubtedly win this by a landslide, as she's the only one with a full set of teeth and a first grade education. Way to go, Katy!
Gospel-Contemporary-Christian MusicIn the traditions of the underdogs, such as Susan Boyle, the category of Gospel, Contemporary, and Christian Music is, with out a doubt, expected to go to the "The Crazy Lady Who Sits Behind You in Church." Yes, this little songbird has not only stolen the academy's heart, but the hearts of hundreds of the remaining church-goers, who flock to hear her overbearing and out-of-tune renditions of classics, like Amazing Grace and How Much is that Doggy in the Window?
PopThe winner of this coveted category is a toss up between Coke, Pepsi, and RC. Experts are leaning towards New Coke, for it's gym-locker-floor-like aftertaste.
Other, Lesser CategoriesLifetime Award for Bands Named after Bugs - The Beatles
Children's - Rob Zombie
Jews Who Sell Out and Sing Christmas Songs - Kenny G
Gayest Instrument - The Flute